Mar 07, 1:40 pm
We all love a good murder don’t we? The thrill of the psycho lurking about your neighbourhood? Never knowing where the next severed hand will pop up? Well I know I do, that’s for sure. There is nothing quite like a dead body after breakfast, all that nice blood on your glove, all those wonderful smells ... Oh the joy of being a forensic pathologist carrying out autopsies to your hearts content.
Ok, so it may not be on everyone’s list of things to do on a Monday morning, but we do all love CSI, right? And we also all loved Grim Fandango and Full Throttle. So how happy are we when the guys from the latter team up to work on the former ... pretty damn happy!
The new CSI game coming out this March is going to be spruced up to the max. No more plain old 2D environments, no more being lead by the hand through the game, and lots more gore! If you can’t find a finger print it might just be on the other side of that lovely 3D door handle you’re spinning the camera around. If you’re missing a piece of evidence then why not have a little ponder over the all new evidence trinity. But why am I telling you all this stuff when I have someone else to do it for me!? Oh yes ladies and gentlemen I give you the lovely ... Tony Van!
Click here to play audio (4.87mb, MP3 format, 12:12)
Well that was exciting stuff wasn’t it. But now that you have had your computer game thrill I thought I might just stick on topic and answer the question that you have all been dying to ask…. What is a real autopsy like??
Let Dr Sarin tell you.
People are bizarre when they are dead, like models that you cannot imagine walking and talking. It is not like a sleeping person (unless they are covered in make up by the funeral directors) just a greyish white shell. First you cut open the skin all down the middle, and it is about three quarters of an inch thick. I always imagined it as much thinner as even a shallow cut feels like it has gone through the skin. Inside we are like half a fortress, our bellies are soft and swathed in fat, while our lungs are barricaded in by layers of hard ribs and lashings of muscle. Underneath all this armour two tiny pink lungs lie in their frail, vulnerable way. If the belly area is removed the body lies like an empty dish waiting to be filled. It is oddly sad.
The most beautiful part of an autopsy is seeing the brain sliced open. The white and grey matter lie wonderfully curled around each other, and the blood pools into tiny pink glistening pearls. It is picture perfect and so hard to imagine it controlling our every whim, but I am pleased to think that our centre for thought is also such a work of art.
Well there you go. I am not going to enlighten you all on the things that splashed down my apron, or the noise of bone being cut with a high powered saw, the weird steal contraption that serves as a table, or what they use a ladle for. That would just be unnecessary, gross, and probably not a good idea in general.
Happy crime solving everyone!
