When I walk down the street eyeing up ledges, the width of alleyways, and the strength of the flag poles I know I’ve been playing too much Prince of Persia. The acrobatic Prince always makes it look so easy, without even breaking a sweat he can scale his way to the roofs of Babylon and beyond. I would give anything to be that energetic, but alas I am but a simple gamer and while the Prince may be able to out run me, I bet I could do a better ‘sitting on the sofa for hours’ routine any day.

But today was different, I did not just sit on the sofa, oh no. I went out into the streets of Babylon to buy some bread, but to my horror the city had fallen into the hands of an evil tyrant. I then had to battle my way into and around the city to save the people, get the girl, and regain my place as the true ruler of the city….

No, no, hang on a minute that was the game.

What I really did today was execute 35 perfect speed kills on unmerciful sand creatures. I jumped on to some of them from chains, snuck up upon others from the streets, and clambered over high walls to reach the rest. My hand was quick and my blade silent, allowing me to slip into the shadows and hunt down my next target. Once the paths were clear I stopped to drink a little water and found myself to be feeling strange…..

No, no, no! That wasn’t real either.

Ok I admit that I really have played a little too much of The Two Thrones, but is this really a bad thing? The Prince and I are forming a unique bond, of sorts… I press the button and he does whatever I tell him to do. It’s just like having a real friend…. A real crazy friend who talks to himself, and argues with himself, and even morphs fully between personas. A sort of limber, springy, friend who if you threw him at a wall he would just bounce off and land on the nearest rickety piece of conveniently hanging timber. A friend who quietly absorbs sand from around your flat while you were having a cup of tea…..

Personally I think we have the perfect relationship but sadly I see it all slipping away from me. The more I play the more I see of that pesky Farah, always bossing him around. How dare she! I pour my heart and soul into that game and all I get in return is my new best friend lolling about after some woman who doesn’t even appreciate him. I worry so much about the day when the Prince leaves my side, but for the time being he and I are still as close as ever, inseparable one might say.

One day I’m sure I shall regain my sanity… but until then Prince and I are off on a nice Caribbean cruise to celebrate the end of my exams. I’d like to see Farah find us there…. I’ll send a postcard!